What happened?

In my last post I blogged about my struggle with openness vs. privacy and made some personal goals to be more open and share more.  Then two months passed without a post.  You're probably wondering what happened.  Well, this happened: 

That's right, I adopted a kitten.  His name is Harlequin, and he takes up a lot of my time.  I didn't think a cat would be as time intensive as he's been.  I mean, a dog, sure, but everyone knows cats are independent and require very little from their humans.  Not true.  At least at the kitten phase, they need a lot of attention, a lot of monitoring and a lot of discipline.  Oy.

But it's been worth it.  Harlequin makes my days more interesting, more fun, more exciting.  Watching him explore and learn about the world has been eye-opening to me about things adults take for granted.  Watching him adjust to schedules and routines and come, not only to understand them, but to expect them, has been fascinating.  Just watching him, period, brings me joy in a way that's hard to explain. 

In some ways my experiences with this kitten are a lot like what I would expect to experience as a new parent.  In fact a lot of people have commented on my behavior with him as indicators of what I might be like as a parent.  But at the same time, I know nothing can compare to parenthood, and I certainly wouldn't want to downplay the amount of work and stress and joy that a new child can bring.  Still, the thought persists that there's a lot of similarities between raising a kitten and raising a human, and I'm treating this as a realistic preview of what the latter might be like.

Openness vs. Privacy - A Struggle

I’m a big believer in the millennial values of openness, transparency and honesty. I like to think that my interactions with other embody those values. Lately, however, I’ve been realizing that I’m also a very private person. Sure, I’m on facebook, twitter, linkedin, and I keep a blog, but if you follow me on any of those media, you’ll notice that I don’t update very frequently, and when I do, it’s not particularly revealing. So, I’ve been analyzing my private behavior in the face of my belief in openness, and I’ve come to realize a few of the driving factors behind my lack of updates.

1. Humility. Being humble doesn’t mean not being confident. It means having a healthy sense of self and one’s place in the world. I often don’t think to post or update about things because I feel others would not be interested in it. The world doesn’t need or want to know what I had for breakfast or that I did laundry today.
2. Fear. I’ll admit, I’m terrified of being judged. I have all kinds of wacky non-mainstream interests, hobbies, and thoughts, and I’m afraid that if I talk about them or share them, people will think less of me. I’m also afraid of being boring, so if something seems mundane or trivial, I’ll choose not to talk about it because I want others to think I’m interesting.
3. Privacy. As I mentioned, I do think certain things are best kept private. The world does not need to know about my sex life or my bowel movements (which is kind of a shame, because both can be quite interesting. . .) I also try to keep any discussion of health issues to a minimum unless they are specifically related to the topic at hand.

I feel my reasons for keeping my life private, for not updating the world constantly about my activities, are generally reasonable. I sometimes wish others would keep those things in mind when they update their social media pages. At the same time, though I recognize that the people I like most, the people I feel the most close to, despite perhaps not knowing them in real life or seeing them frequently in person, are the people who update frequently. Who share the small things in their lives as well as the big. And I can see that most of them break out of my self-imposed limitations in order to keep the updates coming. So, I’m pushing my own envelope. If you follow me on one or more social media, you’ll (hopefully) be seeing more updates. These updates may be boring, and may open me up to be judged by you, so be kind in your comments and replies.

 

How to be Smart and Stupid All at Once

Today I took the Graduate Record Examination or GRE test. I can hear your collective groan of sympathy. Four hours of standardized testing! But really it wasn't that bad. Partly because I secretly kind of like standardized tests. I don't think anyone can truly say they're good at such tests, but my scores show that I'm definitely better than average. And I like the challenge of being asked purportedly intellectual questions and trying to beat the system. So really, there are worse ways I could have spent those four hours.

By my estimation, I did well on the exam. I received my verbal and quantitative results immediately. I received a perfect score on the verbal section (I can't believe it!) and a respectable score on the math section. I'll have to wait to see what the graders think of my two essays, but I'm optimistic. Despite doing well on the exam, however, the fact that I took it all indicates how stupid I can be. See, one of the alternate routes I'm considering if I don't find employment soon is to get an MBA. Under the impression that an MBA was a Master's degree, I assumed, without verifying that the GRE was the exam I needed to take in order to apply for programs. I didn't find out until after I'd already signed up for the test, purchased a study aid and created a study plan that the test I need to take is the GMAT, not the GRE. At that point I figured the time and money was already invested, so I may as well continue with taking the exam. But, I'll be back at the testing center taking yet another standardized test in the near future.

There's a lot that can be (and has been) said about smart people doing stupid things. I always tell myself and others that everyone makes mistakes, that as long as there's no lasting harm, it's ok to make them from time to time. But I hate when I make mistakes, when I'm wrong, or do something stupid. So, I'm proud of my scores, but mad at myself for not doing the research I should have earlier.

I'm not really a perfectionist. I hold myself to high standards and am constantly disappointed by them. I have observed a correlation, though, between smart people, their level of achievement and their confidence. Namely, smart people are usually either overachievers or underachievers. [Ok, that sounds dumb, since there isn't much else one could be. But by over or under I mean significantly, noticeably off the mark from their expected performance.] And they are usually insecure about their abilities. I've often thought that our education system is the cause of this. When I was in elementary school, I didn't think of myself as all that smart or exceptional. Until my classmates pegged me as the person to beat when it came to academics. Unlike other students, my test scores were the subject of constant curiosity, and if anyone happened to do better than me on an exam, they would announce it to the world. Great for their self-esteem, but not so good for mine. I think the kind of pressure this behavior puts on top performers causes them to either push themselves to constantly be top (to avoid the embarrassment of not being so, even if they never initially sought that position), or to stop performing altogether (to avoid being in the situation at all). This behavior then follows the student throughout their life.

When I was a campus recruiter, I frequently noticed that the most brilliant students, the ones with the best grades, scores, etc., were also the most insecure. They needed a lot of feedback during the recruiting process. They frequently went above and beyond the necessary requirements to get the job, when really their grades and background had already given them a leg up on their competition. And after they were hired, they showed similar insecurities. They wanted more feedback, they were never sure how they were doing, they would work long hours just to be sure that everything was perfect, and they were hard on themselves when it wasn't, even when it was not their fault.

In the end, good scores are something to be proud of, achievements should be noted with pride, perfection is a noble goal, but sometimes, you have to forgive yourself for making a mistake. Sometimes, you have to say, it’s behind me, I learned something, let's move on. So, yeah, I made a mistake. I took the wrong test. But my scores were good, and it was good practice for when I take the GMATS. Now to get studying again.

On Reforming our Immigration System

I’ve been meaning to write about immigration reform for a few weeks now. But, it’s a difficult topic and I’ve been avoiding it. Then yesterday, I was linked to this podcast by Mike Rowe about American farm workers having a PR problem (or read the text version here). Shortly after, I followed a link to this video clip of United Farm Workers of American union leader, Arturo Rodriguez, on The Colbert Report. The juxtaposition of the two items and their relevance to my own opinions on our current immigration laws convinced me I needed to speak up and soon.


I have almost ten years of experience working on employer-sponsored, work related visas and immigration issues. I know the ins and outs and quirks of almost all of the visas that allow an individual to work in the U.S. And what I’ve noted most frequently about our immigration laws is that they do not fit the needs of either U.S. companies or people who want to make a new life in our “land of opportunity”. When it comes to employment visas, the emphasis is on individuals who are highly trained, educated, or can perform a specialized skill. These visas are important for two reasons. First, they give companies access to skilled, knowledgeable individuals, regardless of their country of origin. Second, they allow U.S. companies to recruit the best global talent, essentially stealing the top talent from other countries so that their achievements and successes are American ones. In both regards, these visas help our economy, even if it could be argued that they take jobs away from American citizens. There are abuses; especially, it seems, within the computer industry, where companies hire only foreigners to staff their office, paying them a lower wage than an American of similar background and skill would accept. However, for the most part, even companies that frequently use the specialty knowledge visas hire more Americans than foreigners.

However, while there are a number of different visas for educated skilled individuals, there are virtually no visas available to unskilled laborers. This makes sense in many ways. If anyone can do the job, why would you need a foreigner to do it? This is a job that could go to an unemployed American. Unfortunately, America has become increasingly separated from manual labor of any kind, skilled or unskilled. They certainly don’t want the unskilled jobs. They want white-collar office jobs, with career advancement and high paychecks. Companies looking for unskilled laborers find it difficult to fill their open positions with American citizens. This is what both Mike Rowe and Arturo Rodriguez are talking about: Mike Rowe, focusing on how Americans don’t value or want blue collar jobs, to the point that the Future Farmers of American have to rebrand themselves; Arturo Rodriguez, so convinced that no American citizen will do the jobs the immigrant population is doing that he’s willing to find anyone who says they are a job.

Another problem with employer sponsored immigration is with the process for sponsoring an employee for a green card. Obtaining an employer sponsored green card involves a complicated, lengthy process. Typically, an employer waits to sponsor an employee for a green card until just before their other visas have reached the limit of any possible extensions (the maximum stay in the U.S. on an employer sponsored visa is usually 6 years). At that point, the employer must document that it was unable to find an American citizen who was minimally qualified to perform the tasks of the individual for whom they wish to sponsor the green card (and by minimally qualified, they mean equal to doing the job when the employee was first hired, 6 years ago). This recruitment proof is not required for any employer sponsored visas, only for the green card. Personally, I think that this requirement should be something the employer needs to show when they first sponsored their visa. Also, if the purpose of these visas is to steal top talent from other countries, the process of making the permanent citizens should be relatively easy; so that they don’t take their six years of U.S. experience back to their home country and become a high-level competitor.

I certainly don’t have the answer to immigration reform. But, I do know our system needs a large overhaul. Reviewing the current system, researching alternatives and proposing reforms will definitely be a full time job for those who undertake it. If I was involved with designing the reform, I would explore how and why employer sponsored visas are abused and methods to prevent such abuse. I would examine the need for an unskilled laborer category, and explore ways to balance company needs for unskilled laborers with the need to employ American citizens and prevent a large influx of unskilled, legal immigrants. I certainly would reexamine the employer green card process and whether it is more complicated than it needs to be. For this I would explore the point systems that Britain and Canada are using (I’m not sold on the point system, but I’d look at them for ideas). I hope that real reform will take place soon and that those who undertake to draft a reform proposal are able to examine and come up with solutions for these issues.

Not a Recluse

No one ever believes me when I tell them this, but I am an introvert. I think they don’t believe me because the word introvert has come to be associated with shy, retiring people, who are reticent to share their thoughts and opinions with others. I am not like that. But by the Myers-Briggs definition, being introverted simply means that a person recharges by being alone, as opposed to an extrovert, who recharges by being with other people. This is the positive way of expressing the difference, but if you turn it around, you’ll realize that introverts are drained by being in groups, while extroverts are drained by being alone. While I like people and enjoy getting together with them, I do find that after a long period with others I need time by myself to recover.


Since I’ve been unemployed I’ve been feeling that my introversion levels have gone up. People talk about getting lonely or stir crazy by being in the house alone all day, but I haven’t felt that at all. In fact, I enjoy my days alone. I feel my house and life are in much better order than when I worked, and I have been able to accomplish a number of personal projects that seemed to be perpetually on hold because I never had the time for them. While I recognize that networking and meeting people is an essential part of both obtaining a new position and staying in touch with the developments in my field, I find myself increasingly loath to leave the house, and the networking events I’ve attended have really taken their toll on my energy levels. Over the past few months I’ve been increasingly concerned that I was turning into a recluse or agoraphobic or some other antisocial person.

Fortunately, this weekend helped to reassure me that I’m not really become a hermit. On Saturday, I had the fortune to attend an old friend’s wedding, at which I reconnected with a number of other old friends and had a great time. On Sunday, I attended a barbecue at another friend’s house, and saw more (and different) friends, and even made a few new ones. Despite spending two full days in the company of lots of other people, I barely felt drained at all. My analysis: The company is makes all the difference. Friends aren’t draining, but strangers are. With friends I don’t need to be anything other than myself, because I know they love me already. With new people I am not comfortable just being myself. What if they don’t like me? I know, I know, I should be myself with strangers too. I totally agree, because I believe in being genuine in everything I do. But when I’m with strangers I tend to be me-lite. I hold back a little. I don’t announce all my thoughts and opinions right away. I want people to see the best parts of me before I show them the crazy side.

So, some takeaways from my weekend: No, I’m not a recluse yet, but I do need to work harder at keeping in touch. Honestly, some of the people I saw this weekend, I haven’t seen in years. People I really like. What is wrong with me? Some plans (you knew there were going to be plans, right): Perhaps a big party. I used to throw parties more than once a year, but when I was promoted to manager, there never seemed to be the time. Now that I’m not working, I have the time, but still haven’t made the effort. That’s going to change. I’m also tossing around the idea of small dinner parties; quiet groups of six, maybe with some board or card games afterwards. And finally, simply reaching out more to get together with friends whenever I can.

An Organized Approach

I’m a fairly organized person. I enjoy planning and arranging things. I rather strongly believe that a good plan makes life easier and allows me to do more than I would have otherwise. For example, I was able to graduate from college in three years by formulating a plan in my first semester to achieve all the graduation requirements in as short a time as possible. I never thought my fondness for having a plan was a problem, or even all that noticeable, until recently. I’m perfectly able to function without a plan or to handle the inevitable wrench in my plan, I just prefer to make one if I have the time. But a friend called me “the list girl”. My mother said, “you and your schedule”. I started to analyze my habits and found that maybe I am a bit obsessive with the scheduling and planning. For example:

I start each week by preparing a schedule of what I want to accomplish. Each day I review the premade schedule and tweak it, adding anything that didn’t get accomplished in previous days or that has come up recently.

I break pretty much every project I work on into smaller pieces and plan how and when I’m going to do each piece so that the completed project is done in time. For example, if my goal for the week is to clean my house, I’ll assign a room to each weekday. Then I’ll breakout how I’ll clean that room (declutter, then dust, then vacuum, etc.). 

I use my Outlook calendar to schedule not just big events, but regular household chores as well. Even my exercise routine is detailed in my calendar.

I also always have bigger plans in mind, backup plans, and sometimes, backup backup plans. . . For example, my current large-scale plans center on my immediate goal of finding employment and making myself as marketable as possible. I’m planning to take the GPHR exam in December, after taking a prep course. I’m thinking about doing a Spanish language immersion course in Costa Rica. I’m studying to take the GRE and GMAT exams so that I can apply to grad or business school if I’m still unemployed at the end of the year. I’m working out a model for starting my own business.

While I can see that I maybe take the planning a step further than others might, I cannot fathom how people who don’t plan or schedule get things done. Even something as simple as a straight to-do list is a form of planning, allowing one to remember what they should do, prioritize the tasks, and get things done more efficiently. [As a side note, I’m a big fan of handwritten to-do lists. Nothing is more satisfying as taking a pen through the items on your list and seeing it shrink to only a few items.] Life is just easier and more manageable when you have a way to approach it.

Confessions of a Data Junkie

I have a confession to make: I’m a data junkie. I love data, charts and graphs; I love analyzing them for trends and patterns; and I love coming up with explanations for those trends and patterns and testing my hypotheses. I know, at this point, you probably think I’m crazy. Since that’s probably true by several definitions of the word, perhaps it’s best if we get it out in the open already.

My first exposure to the concept of a database was at my first job, really an internship, out of college. I was tasked with creating and populating a database of sales quotes for an import/export company using Microsoft Access. I had never heard of Access, or databases before that job. Ten years later, I’m an expert user of the program, and a big proponent for the use of databases for collecting and tracking information. I took my knowledge of database design and use and brought my next employer kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

Lots of people use data, databases and analysis in their day jobs. It is one of the best tools in a business’s arsenal. Any new project or plan should start with an analysis of the current situation before any steps are taken. The quality of collected data and the subsequent analysis can make or break a business strategy. But most people leave the data collection and analyzing at the office, for their business. They don’t see the application in their personal lives. This is where my “habit” becomes apparent.

A few of the ways I’ve collected data in my personal life, and what I’ve learned from them.

1) The Job Search. Every person looking for a job should have some system of keeping track of what jobs they’ve applied to. I would recommend a simple Excel chart showing the company, job title and date of application. I’ve taken my Job Search chart to the next level, though. I’ve included Pivot Tables (a tool in Excel for analyzing the data in your chart) that break down the information and allow me to see some trends. What have I learned?

• I apply to more jobs on Wednesday than any other jobs. [Note this trend could have two causes – 1) more new jobs are posted on Wednesdays; and 2) my schedule on Wednesday allows me to look for and apply to more jobs. The true cause is probably a combination of these two possible causes.]

• Although I source jobs to apply to from a variety of areas, including networking, the biggest sources for jobs to which I apply are still Monster and CareerBuilder. A lot of pundits have criticized these large job posting boards as outdated, but they still seem to have a large number of companies using them for their job search needs. Hmm, this gives me an idea for a new piece of information to track – response rate from different sources.

2) My media collections. I have a database for keeping track of my books, CDs, DVDs, etc. It helps me to know what I have, to avoid duplicates, but also to find things, but tracking when I’ve lent things out or moved a CD to my car. What have I learned? My husband and I have an inordinate number of books with the word ‘Unicorn’ in the title. Maybe not as useful as my job search data, but certainly an interesting trend.

3) My exercise routine. I actually have two charts for keeping track of my workouts. One tracks my running, showing time, heart rate and notable info about a run. The other tracks my Pilates workout showing the current routine and the plan for adding new exercises (I add new ones each month). What have I learned? I’m faster and stronger at the beginning of the week than at the end.

Are there more? Of course; I create a new chart whenever there’s a new piece of information I want to know more about. I’ll admit, my frequent use of Excel and Access for personal reasons isn’t normal, but it helps me to understand and catalog my world. So, while you think I’m crazy, I have a pretty good handle on how things in my life are affecting me, allowing me to be more organized and generally happier.